Is it really living a BIG LIFE if it comes at the cost of foundational needs?

I cancelled an epic ski vacation with friends from The Forge in Chamonix, France this week for exactly that reason. The cost, in terms of my foundational needs, was greater than the trip could have provided in return.

Hidden Costs

Sure, it would have looked like I was living a big life in France on social media but the reality is that work has been hectic, there is a tight publishers deadline of end month (aka Tuesday) to meet, finances would have been tight (near impossible), and it would have meant skipping a savings deposit on the emergency funds I’m trying to build.

My body would have been in France, and my mind at home.

It would have been a BIG LIFE lie.

Big Life Lies

I mean, we do it all the time. Big life lies are everywhere.

• The fancy vehicle that’s financed.

• The trips we take on credit.

• The “I’m fine” when we’re not fine.

• The staged social media posts.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not here for those reindeer games. So I cancelled the trip. Even though I couldn’t get a full refund on the plane tickets, it saved me thousands of dollars and boats loads of stress in the end.

The Take Away

The morale of the story; don’t be afraid to make bold and unconventional moves to make sure you can meet your foundational needs (aka the bottom two layers of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - safety and physiological needs).

• Be proud of driving an affordable car

• Be proud of taking staycations

• Be proud to admit when help is needed

• Be proud to show a unstage, unfiltered, and relatable life

It’s ok to do what’s right for you to build on those foundational needs first. It actually puts you ahead. As my friend Nathalie from Wandering Warrior said over coffee this week, “I fill my own cup first, and whatever spills over - that’s what I have to give others”.

Now that’s how we get to living a big life.

My friend Graeme at The Forge is a collector of extraordinary stories from ordinary people - the website features an abundance of real life stories of perseverance that are meant to uplift, inspire, and ground us in our collective humanity.

Perhaps my favourite financial success story on social media, is that of Naseema McElroy, RN. She takes control and thrives with her financial goals for herself, and her children. Naseema went from nearly 1 million in debt to nearly 1 million net worth in 7 years. You can find her on instagram below.

PS: I’m almost done that manuscript that due for a surprise book that’ll launch this spring and the emergency fund savings is getting closer and closer to the goal amount. Now that feels damn good.

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